Opinion

Jack Be Nimble, Jack Write Quick...

Jack Layton wants the Toronto riding of Beaches-East York to return to its orange roots: New Democratic Party orange that is. For years, the riding has swung to the left, despite being on the right side of Yonge Street.

Then came the debacle. The well-liked NDP Member of Parliament retired in 1993. The Liberals leapt in. Beaches-East York, as the reincarnated Beaches-Woodbine riding became, is now represented by Maria Minna. Parachuted in at the behest of the former Prime Minister, the beloved St. Jean of Shawnigan, the former immigration counsellor has not been the brightest light in the Liberal firmament.

Ever since, like the local zebra mussels, she has hung in there, up against first a lacklustre coterie of contenders, more recently against sterner stuff.

Last year, facing a summer election, the then-unelected Jack waggled his moustache at the rather limited caucus the NDP fielded on Parliament Hill. A blizzard of letters sprang forth from NDP MPs from sea to shining sea. All were addressed to Beaches-East York voters. All urged them to vote for that short but equally shining star, Peter Tabuns.

The former city councillor had been spending his days in durance vile, director of the Greenpeaces Canadian operations. Unfortunately battling Tony the Tiger over dread genetically modified kiddies corn flakes failed to enthral local punters. So did the most un-socialist act of causing Greenpeace workers to declare a strike, which was to last several months.

Oops. Maria, now safely ensconced in her Hannaford home, without doubt a riding resident which poor Pete was not, romped home.

Now smilin Jack, safe in his neighbouring Riverdale seat past which quiet flows the Don, is able to mail out his own letters, direct from the House of Commons, postage paid by you-know-who, you the ever-suffering taxpayer.

Monthly they arrive, wanted or not. No use returning them whence they came. Sure as West Nile, virus, Asian long-horn beetle and other noxious nasties, back they come.

For Jack has another candidate for the ever-suffering burghers of Beaches-East York. And by posting epistles to the wretched residents he is attempting the greatest propaganda coup since Josef Goebbels.

Not that in principle that should be hard. Minna makes a tempting target.

Sitting down to dine with those Tamil tovaritch who stand accused of collecting funds to support the terror campaign in Sri Lanka was not a move to endear her to many potential voters. Neither did accusations of favouring a deuce of campaign supporters. Then there was the slight matter of a municipal vote she cast in the ward in which she did not reside. And as Canadas International Co-operation Minister her porky position inevitably led her to break bread with some of humanities foulest freaks.

So the voters of Beaches-East York are in for a real treat. The NDPs new sacrificial lamb is none other than Jackos Riverdale rat pack partner Member o the Provincial Parliament Marilyn Churley. Described in one blurb as a "passionate feminist, social activist and environmentalist," shell need to be all of those and then some. Poor Peter Tabuns went down after the last campaign, crushed by a margin of 7,000 votes.

Letters certainly didnt help him. They may even have done him in. Now some cantankerous taxpayers are querying just how many such mailings should they be underwriting financially. Are they even legally permissible under parliamentary rules?

Nomenclature may however be the final fiasco for the member of the second oldest profession. The former Progressive Conservatives recently eliminated the oxymoronic "Progressive." Unfortunately, the New Democratic Party, approaching its half-century, is no longer new, is questionably democratic under the autocratic Jack and, by both numbers of MPs fielded and actual votes, barely a political party. And the local yokels know it.

ADV:

Place Your Ad Here!